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March 19, 2011Matagal na akong hindi nagsusulat. Siguro wala na akong oras masyado. Siguro nagsawa na ako. Siguro wala na akong masulat. Siguro tumanda na kasi ako. Siguro tinamad na ko magsulat. Siguro nagkabuhay na ko. Siguro nag-iimbento na lang ako ng dahilan.
Mahirap takasan ang mga bagay na nakasanayan.
Maaga yata akong tumanda. Sa murang edad, ako mismo ang nagkahon ng sarili sa isang limitadong espasyo dahil ligtas at komportable.
Minsan binabasa ko yung mga nasulat ko noon. Di ko mapigilang tumawa. Madalas kasi ang sabog ko pala mag-isip noon. Marahil hanggang ngayon. Sana hanggang ngayon.
Pero matanda na yata ako. Hindi na kasing likot ang isip ko di tulad noon. At wala na ring lakas ng loob.
Sa pagtanda, may kasabay na responsibilidad. At sa aking pagsusulat, na kasing dalas ng pagsnow sa Pilipinas, pinipili ko nang maging politically correct. Kasi matanda na ako.
Nung 17 ako, naisip ko, sana 18 na ko para pwede akong makanood ng Maui Taylor movies sa SM. Nung 19 na ko, gusto ko na mag-21 para makapaglaro ako sa casino. Ngayon, gusto ko lang maging malikot kahit sandali.
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