Black Christmas

My cousin Stephen died a while ago because of prostate cancer. He was having his chemotherapy a few days ago to deal with his condition. Yesterday, however, he underwent what they call comatose. I'm not even sure what that exactly means but I guess it's something only a miracle could counter to prevent inevitable death.

My inability to feel despair disturbs me. I don't know why his death doesn't seem to upset me or affect me in any describable way.

It's not apathy.

I guess the fact that we really haven't seen or even talked to each other justifies why I don't feel anything about it.

It's a shame that we haven't had the opportunity to hang out and know each other.

Kasi namannn.. They live in Mindanao tapos we're here in Manila. Whenever we go to the province, I do see him pero we don't talk much. 

Ewan ko.

I feel bad that i haven't gotten the chance to know you more. I hope you're in a better place now. Godspeed. †

Christmas Vacation

Well, Christmas vacation has begun. 

hindi ko talaga alam kung ano gagawin ko ngayong bakasyon.

Wala yung driver namin so malamang-lamang na di ako makalalabas ng bahay.

nakuha ko na yung SAT scores ko. 1770. Nagunaw na ang pangarap kong makapag-aral sa banyagang institusyon.

May SAT subject tests ako sa January. Math 2, Physics at Chremistry. PWede knog ireview ang mga yan dahil meron naman akong reviewer para jan. sana sipagin.

Marami pa akong mga nobelang hindi nabubuklat. Lagpas 10. wah. di na muna ako bibili. uubusin ko na muna yun.

Gusto ko ng bagong album. shet.

Wow. Darating ang My Chemical Romance sa Pinas. The Fort. January 25.Inquire at Ticketnet.

Shet. SAT Subject Tests –> January 26. @_@ Mapua Mode na naman ba to? hahaha

alin ang mas matimbang…

Nakuha ko na yung Starbucks Planner. hahaha. Aliw naman. Maganda. Di ko lang talaga alam kung paano pupunuin yun. Naadik na nga pala ako sa kape simula nung kolektahin ko yung mga stickers na yan. Mahilig na ako sa Peppermint Mocha. Ansarap.  

Galing pala kaming PGH kanina dahil nangaroling kami sa 2 pedia ward ng ospital. Nakalulungkot makita yung mga sitwasyon nila. Sobrang hirap ng kalagayan nila. Sobrang hirap mag-alaga ng pasyente. Sobrang hirap magkasakit. Ayaw ko palang nakakikita ng mga taong may sakit at nagdurusa. Di ako pwedeng magdoktor. Naalala ko nung naiyak ako nung makita kong inadmit ang tatay ko. Wala lang. Di ko kinaya. Bading siguro ako.

hayyy. Sana maging masaya ang lahat ngayong pasko. Pati na rin yung mga nakita ko sa PGH. Makadama sana sila ng kaginhawaan pagdating ng pasko.

Ninong Chucks

i got home a while ago feeling like shit from all the tequila i've had. damn. i'm so sorry if i unintentionally lied to you in saying that i have had only three shots of it when in reality i had a lot of it. ha! alcohol made me forgot how much i've had. haha

before going home, my dad, who is also intoxicated with the same substance as i am now had this brilliant idea of grabbing another cup of coffee, for the second time today, at starbucks. hahaha. i have had four additional stickers for my sticker pad and i shall be having that uber cool planner soon. hahaha.

Puking or regurgitating  is sooooo rejuvinating. seriously! i feel so much better now. but then, my bathroom smells like the peppermint mocha i drank kanina plus the typical regular stench of puke. eww. i missed shooting everything kasi sa toilet. wah.

pano na kaya ako bukas… We have a test in trig pa naman. well. i shall depend on my "superior" math skills na lang. kidding. Go stock knowledge!

well, about me being a ninong naman. 

The christening earlier of my inaanak Cynthia was such a new experience for me. Wala lang. It's my first time kasi to be involved in such a ceremony and i have learned from the priest that being a Godparent not only means being present during Christmas but it also requires involvement in the development of the child.

I vaguely remember my godparents being there for me but i do remember my ninang Shirley who was always there for my birthday when i was a kid and my ninong (sorry, forgot your name peace ,\/..  hahaa) who showed up three years ago and gave me dough whenever i see him. hahaha.

I want to be a cool ninong to Cynthia and be there for her and watch her grow up. hahaha. ayaw ko na hinahanap niya lang ako pag pasko pero gusto ko hanapin niya ako dahil mabuti akong ninong sa kanya. When she's old enough, i shall give her my number para she could text me and shit. i also plan of visiting her whenever i can. wala lang. para lang masabi na talagang naging involved ako sa kanyang paglaki. hahaha.

sooo yyun.

 after the christening sa church, we went to their house and ate. alam niyo na. typical pinoy tradition of feeding everyone after something special. 

tapos yun! people invitied me to drink. i was okay pa naman when i was still sitting pero, when we left, shit! nahilo na ako sa car and yun wala na. dun ko naramdaman ang pagkalasing.

hindi na ako iinom kapag linggo dahil may pasok pag lunes at ayaw kong magmukang wasak sa paaralan. 

9 days til christmas. may regalo ka na ba sa akin?  

communication dependency

hahaha. that's what i call my almost irrational need of knowing how you are right now.

i just feel so speculating right now. i keep on guessing on what you're up to and why you're not text-ing me.

Some of the things i thought you're possibly doing right now:

* teaching your brother

* doing homeworks

* watching tv

* reading something

* eating

* talking to your parents

* taking a bath

* sleeping

wah. hahaha. i guess i'm just used to talking to you like 24/7 and wala lang. I just need you so i could talk to someone right now.

i hope everything's fine. 

miss you. 

14 days til christmas

I'm bored. So, i'm gonna blog na muna but not for so long coz i have lots to do.

so yun. grades were out yesterday and i got third honors. YAY!

but i wasn't so happy about it and so were my parents because my brother didn't do so well in his grades. I guess i should check on him more often since we're roommates naman.

ayun.

My laptop needs pimping! It's always low on virtual memory so i'm thinking maybe bringing it when i'm free to any computer store and get it an upgrade in RAM. HAHA. I'm thinking maybe just an upgrade of 1 GB of RAM from the now insufficient RAM of 256 MB. Also! I should get an anti-virus program. hahaha. It's infected with virus and spyware. I know it. hahaha.

14 days til Christmas. \:D/ Better start saving up so you get me nice presentsss.