Goodbye

All things must come to an end.

I never wrote much anyway.

A Culture of Samplex

My study method involves tedious hours of browsing through books, highlighting important points, consulting lecture slides, rewriting notes, and cups of coffee, while simultaneously entertaining distractions such as retweeting funny tweets, and well, buffering “art” videos.

This has always been the case since I started college. If only I don’t sleep in class, I can probably skip re-learning concepts. If only I took notes, I wouldn’t bug classmates with the nicest handwriting. If only I am diligent enough to study lectures at the end of the day, I wouldn’t be cramming. I am an academic train wreck, a lucky one at that, and I am grateful.

I have always sticked to this style even though most peers question the efficiency of it. Can I really retain all these information in one night? Probably not. 

But how can you be efficient in learning? One way to gage learning is through tests.

How do I prepare for tests? By studying everything.

How do others prepare for tests? By studying samplexes.

I am not against samplexes. They are very helpful, and I must admit that there had been times when I browsed through them, but only after studying everything. 

The things I should be learning are in front of me. I cannot sacrifice unimportant topics, read: not included in the exam, just to get high scores. I need to learn everything just because I have to.

Else, I have shortchanged myself from learning something that might be important in future. Else, I have lost the chance to grasp more. Else, I settled for less than what I expect from myself. Else, I took a shortcut to “excellence”.

Perhaps I have become cynical about grades, but I no longer see why I should push myself to excel by others’ standards when in fact, I should be exceeding my own imposed expectations.

I do not aim to get high grades. I do not aim to be a role model. I do not aim to be the best in class. But what I want for myself is to become a person with a complete understanding of the things I must know, which how an engineer should be.

Otherwise, I’d have to specialize on the little things, that got out of the exam.

Unto you

Prudence is rarely given credit. I lack the understanding to comprehend the values others impose on me. Can values be backwards? Can values be inapplicable? Can values be disregarded?

Perhaps clarity comes with maturity. You think you’re deciding on hindsight, acting on curiousity, moving to an experience, and learning for the future but with what others swiftly say, you’re just dumb. 

You can’t expect others around you to think with the same wavelength as you do. For a person dependent on others, expect to be controlled; expect to be silenced; expect to be opressed.

A person subjected to such treatment cannot be eternally dutiful, respectful, yielding, compromosing, and idle.

Remember every moment you were stripped of anything you hold dear and when the right time comes, do unto others what others had done unto you.

Matanda na ako

Hindi na kaya ng katawan kong magpuyat, siguro dahil kulang ako sa kain. O sa abusong dulot ng mga bisyo. Pero sa malamang at sa malamang, kasi matanda na ako.

Siguro hindi naman ganun katanda. Pero matanda na ako.

Mahirap maging malaya. Mahirap maging masaya. Hindi na makapaglakwatsa. Kasi matanda na ako.

Bente uno anyos na nga ako, wala naman ng palabas sa sinehang porno. Sayang nawala, kung kelan matanda na ako.

Masarap sana bumiyahe kasi may pasaporte. Pero sa dami ng ginagawa, di nasusulit ang diskwento sa tiket kapag bata. Kasi matanda na ako.

Hindi na kasing tamis ang Spaghetti ng Jollibee. Kasi matanda na ako.

Ang dami nang sumasakit, ang likod, ang ulo, ang lalamunan. Nabubulok na yata ako. Kasi matanda na ako.

Laging pa ring may nasesermonan. Target ni ermats at ni erpats. Napagsasalitaan. Napapagalitan. Hindi na ko pinapalo. Buti matanda na ako.

After 7 Months

I’d like to know my purpose. With the passing of Steve Jobs, I couldn’t help but retrospect on the things that I’ve been doing, and think of what I’d want to have in the future. There are so many possibilities, and with possibilities, there are opportunities, but it occured to me that what I lack, was direction.

Things would be so much easier if it involved commitment. Passion. Love.

I need to start working on my legacy.